if wishes were horses

“My wish isn't to mean everything to everyone but something to someone.”

tickled pink

What a treat to snap the photo for the owner of one of my favorite stores in the Madison area.

Darin and his haa-chaa-chaa manager stock the place with so much cool kitsch that it took me nearly an hour after I had shot their pictures to eyeball everything I wanted to look at (and finger handle nearly as much).

gratitude

The same pain that can blemish our personality
can act as a creative force,
burnishing it into an object of delight.
--Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan, Alchemical Wisdom

At times our own light goes out and is
rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think
with deep gratitude
of those who have lighted the flame within us.
--Albert Schweitzer

I have never met a person whose greatest need was
anything other than real, unconditional love. You
can find it in a simple act of kindness toward
somone who needs help. There is no mistaking
love. You feel it in your heart. It is the
common fiber of life, the flame that heals our
soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to
our lives. It is our connection to God and to
each other.
--Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

On this day I recognize the beginning of my 40th year and I point my mind with gratitude toward my many blessings, including those that come cloaked in heavy veils of trouble, fear or sorrow and those that look nothing like the opportunity they may be.

So shall they continue to bless me, so shall I continue to give thanks.

I've done 107 of these 144 fulfilling stupid strange and/or wonderful things

(a meme picked up from gsurosey)


Level 1
(x) tried a cigarette
(x) tried a cigar
(x) smoked weed
(x) kissed a member of the same sex (thank goodness)
(x) drank alcohol

SO FAR: 5

Level 2
(x) are/been in love
(x) been dumped/rejected
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight (hi mom)

SO FAR: 9

Level 3
(x) snuck out of a parent's house..
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
(x) gone out on a blind date

SO FAR: 13

Level 4
(x) had a crush on an older person..
(x) skipped school
(x) slept with a co-worker
(x) seen someone/something die

SO FAR: 17

Level 5
(x) had/have a crush on or liked one of your blog/online friends. (yes, it's you)
( ) been to Africa
(x) been on a plane
(x) thrown up from drinking

SO FAR: 20

Level 6
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) met someone BECAUSE of your blog or online community
( ) been in a mosh pit

SO FAR: 22

Level 7
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken pain killers when you didnt need them
(x) like/love someone who you can't have
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel

SO FAR: 26

Level 8
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up

SO FAR: 31

Level 9
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone tobogganing
(x) cheated while playing a game.
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school

SO FAR: 36

Level 10
( ) used a fake/someone else's ID
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
( ) killed a snake

SO FAR: 37

Level 11
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed/vandalized
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a deer

SO FAR: 41

Level 12
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
( ) had detention
(x) been in a car/motorcycle/4-wheeler accident

SO FAR: 43

Level 13
( ) had/have/will have braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 46

Level 14
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes

SO FAR: 50

Level 15
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the world (precisely? no. nearly? yes.)
(/) swam in the ocean/gulf (half credit for wading. that counts.)
(x) felt like you were dying

SO FAR: 54.5

Level 16
(x) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins

SO FAR: 58.5

Level 17
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (thank you for the regular practice, siblings)
(x) kissed in the rain

SO FAR: 62.5

Level 18
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care/cared about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach

SO FAR: 66.5

Level 19
(x) crashed a party
(x) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading/ice skating
(x) had a wish come true

SO FAR: 70.5

Level 20
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed "penis/dick" in class/public
( ) swam/swum with dolphins

SO FAR: 71.5

Level 22
(x) got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube/popsicle
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x) sat on a roof top

SO FAR: 74.5

Level 23
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 3 hours
(x) stayed up all night

SO FAR: 78.5

Level 24
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had/been in a tree house (thanks, Dad. It was not particularly safe but it was so cool)

SO FAR: 81.5

Level 25
(x) believe in ghosts
(x) have/had more than 30 pairs of shoes throughout your life
(/) gone streaking (half credit for nude sunbathing. it counts.)
(x) gone/visited someone to/in jail(visited)

SO FAR: 85

Level 26

( ) played chicken
( ) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) been easily amused

SO FAR: 87

Level 27
(x) Caught a fish then ate it
(x) made a video
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried (then peed)
(x) cried so hard you laughed (then ...)

SO FAR: 92

Level 28
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dippin
(x) been kicked out of your house

SO FAR: 100

Level 30
(x) Rode a roller coaster
( ) went scuba-diving/snorkeling
(x) had a cavity
( ) black-mailed someone
( ) been black mailed

SO FAR: 102

Level 31
(x) Been used
(x) fell going up the stairs
(x) licked a cat (c'mon, gotta try that at least once)
(x) bitten someone
(x) licked someone (wavewave Jo & Lee)

Total score: 107

Your turn!
==================================

See, that was the cut/paste version. Here's the thinking girl's version: what haven't you done that you'd LIKE to do still? What have you done before that you are keeping far far far away from, now and forevermore?

I'd like to visit Ireland.

I'll try kissing a fish too.

I'd like to be able to do a backward roll again. And an incidental sidenote to Mr. Selby, the scary evil gym teacher at Garfield Elementary School in Davenport IA in the early '70s: I was NOT lying when I said that something in my neck snapped when I did that backward roll like you ordered me to perform. I mean, it's not that it likely mattered much to you (just guessing, but I doubt it did since you didn't hesitate to berate me all those other times for not being able to climb that stupid rope) but it was the last backward roll I ever successfully pulled off. Yeah, I was a THIRD GRADER. Feel bigger, Mr. Grownup Muscle Man?

I do not want to rent property from and belonging to someone else.
Ownership rocks.

I do not hope to spend any more time as a psychatric inpatient. Ever.

I do hope one day to garden naked.

ooh. it just occurred to me that maybe I should double-check my math in adding up those totals. Even when I'm adding in small batches I sometimes make small batches of mistakes. POSTSCRIPT: Whoops, I did catch one. All fixed, all accounted for.

a wrench in the works

This is what the '97 Volkswagen Jetta Trek power steering fluid reservoir looks like. On my front porch. With a not-exactly-teeny hole punched out of it. Absolutely by accident. With a wrench. While I was replacing my car's battery. After the horn and the alarm system went bezerk and the car would not start.

Whewdoggy, Thursday sure was a fun day.

hold it in your head: the stand-off

It was only today that I began finding words I could thread together to make sense of the habit I've been attempting for months to adopt. I have a feeling that once I spell it out and once I reread this profound experience I'll find it looks (even to me) a whole lot less amazing and a whole lot more 'well, yeah duh'ish than the learning experience has felt from the inside-out.






Isn't that an awful feeling? Thinking that something earth-shattering has happened or that you've uncovered a deep inner truth that nobody else in the history of the universe was able to figure out before you arrived on the scene (though you're willing to give possible creedence to the contributions made by some lowly cattle maid in western Switzerland who, you're sure, knew a whole lot more than the idiots running the dairy knew, if only they would have asked her once in a while for her opinion) only to find out that the truth of the matter is that you're being self-aggrandizing; that everyone else had already worked out that whole time/space continuum issue along with the speed of light and sound, the life cycle of decomposition, celestial orbits and other such heady matters. Gee man, I hate when that happens.

And as I write this I'm aware that it's probably about to happen as soon as I click on the 'publish' button. Ce sa.

I have always insisted that I am an open-minded individual. I believed I was. Nice, friendly; generally agreeable. Because of this belief I'd prefer not to gaze too long at the lyrical language I used within the privacy of my vehicle when someone else was driving theirs (in my opinion) too whatever. Too quickly. Too slowly. Too blinker-inattentively. Too aggressively.

The thing is, I finally admitted that I can't play both sides to try to be that image in the sideview mirror that appears better/larger than I really am. The dirty secret I finally self-revealed, for better or worse, was that I'm an emotionally charged basket laden with attitudes about so. much. stuff.

Yes, I've realized, I have an opinion about how Madonna has manipulated the media to her own best interest in her (very profitable) past so no, I don't have much to say about how she doth protest now. Is it fair that she's being attacked for using her position to get something she wanted? Did she actually do what they say she's done? Dunno. But she's brilliantly used the media before and I've no doubt she'll work it to get what she wants again this time.

Yes, I think minivans and minitrucks and SUVs and any non-car-sized vehicle are a general waste.

Yes, I can barely contain my urge to take a 2x4 to the thighs of allllll thooooose republicans who are demanding that John Kerry make an apology to U.S. troops serving in Iraq for the comment he made in his address to CA college students. Sure it's a wily election year with much riding on the line so I can appreciate the desire to take an opportunity and run with it, but GET A FREAKIN' SENSE OF BLEAK HUMOR, DICKWITS. In case there was some honest confusion and just for clarification purposes: Kerry was talking about the king of the dickwits. Yeah, George W., him. Do you get it? Get the joke now? sheesh

It wasn't my own behavior that got me to paying closer attention to my thinking habits, no. Other people were bugging me. The way that other people continually positioned themselves as openmindedly good/right/best bugged me and it bugged me a lot. And finally, when I found my own supposedly open-minded self copping an attitude about someone who was essentially doing the same thing about another person, I decided I needed to clean up my own shack before I went blowing hurricane-force attitude into other people's hovels.

I began exercising.
Not my body (though I've recently taken that back up also), but my mind. I made up a game in which I would take an item into my mind with the goal of uncovering my hidden attitudes, stripping them away from the item, then holding the item in my mind without personal prejudice to see how I might see the thing differently, and how I might change as an additional result.

While I wish I could get to skill mastry with faster speed than my current snail's pace, I'm no master at this exercise just yet. Frankly, I've only very recently gotten to a comfortable space with the "uncover and recognize the hidden" part. It doesn't take much for me to unobtrusively freak out just a little. Like when, after uncovering what I hadn't previously realized I felt about bumperstickers on the back of aggressively passionate parents of honor students and pet owners, I stack up a list of post-its why I felt loathing and disgust about the persons who would advertise such a ridiculous piece of news, I'd much rather set fire to the little pile of post-its than to do something creative or (ugh) productive with them!

Bring an item into your mind.
My random though generator formulates: Cruise control.

Uncover hidden attitudes.
I don't have any.

Oh really?
Nope. NO! But I sure wish my beloved dentbucket of a car had an electrical system and a cruise control system that would work more often than the occasional four mile long stretch of even-speed travel and a horn that sometimes beeps when the doors lock but more often than not, doesn't.

I see. But no hidden attitudes, right?
Right-ii-o, you got it. I mean, if I had a car whose cruise control worked properly you can bet your bottom dollar that I'd be USING IT, unlike the maniacal idiots who surround me.

Good thing those attitudes don't get in your way.
Thank you kindly.


THose are the awkward beginnings of how I began paying closer attention to the thoughts I didn't know that I have but I have them anyway. That's how I began thinking the words - like 'astroturf', 'plan', 'celery' (a difficult word to overcome for those of us who don't have much use for the leggy green vegetable), 'hair', yes and even 'cruise control' without wanting to either hit or cry. Had I known in advance what a difficult task I was setting myself up for I'd also have developed colorful ATTAGIRL! stickers with which I would have rewarded myself for overcoming my sometimes rusty mindset. If stickers work for the pottytraining three year old crowd, I'd like to think I could have benefit from cheerfully stickered warm fuzzies as well in spite of that slight chronological difference between a toilet training three year old and myself. Doesn't my emotional immaturity count for anything around here??

The practice continues to be good for me. I've noticed a change in myself, a pleasant detachment with some subjects that at one time held for me the potential for gutbusting fireworks. And though I hadn't anticipated overlap, I'm able to transfer the skills (and sometimes, the peacefulness) of just being with a word or a situation without feeling the need to do something about it. I'm learning to be, to just BE with something, until I can shake my attitude off the thing.

It seems to be at that point, at the point in time when I find myself pedaling the bike a little faster even though I know my hands are not on the handlebars because they're too busy waving around enjoying the air, that the real learning comes to me.

And so it goes. Ce sa.

Halloween

Pussycat and her Pussycat Liquor enjoy the annual festivities, bringing home the award for 'Naughtiest Costumes'. Woot Woot.

small gestures

Among the things that made today worth getting up for...

A friend who gets her sustenance in a similar-to-me moment-grabbing way. Their dogs were fed and taken out by the g/f for a 'W' (sssshhh, in case the dogs are reading and I do believe they could if they mastered doubleclicking a mouse, that's the secret code for walk, which as we all know is done at the 'P'-fer-park).

When the dogs go out for walkies, up and out come the four cats for dog-free terror-free upstairs playtime/breakfast. J. poured out the soft food into dishes and set it down for some furry happy freerange grazers and then went along to do something else.

When she returned to collect the empty bowls from the floor she discovered that her kitties had left a few morsels of food in one of the bowls arranged in a happy face shape.

a couple pieces here, a couple pieces there, and a littl strip just like an upturned grin. I saw the image while seated on their kitchen floor today; I hope she posts the picture to her blog. If/when she does I'll be sure to link it up.

The part that really tickles me is that J. grabbed her camera and took a picture of the bowlface. She figured if the kitties could organize their random actions enough to say 'hey, thanks for the grub Mom, that was some tasty salmon and rice!', the least she could do was be grooved by it.

Save the land crab?

(assuming bent posture, hushed tone, and nervous right index finger-flicking habit)

Um, could someone tell me the story behind the curious and suddenly popular websearch for land crabs? I'm baffled.


And I thank you for your time.

best-guess shopping

My name is McBeth and I have a kid.
hi mcbeth.

I happen to think that my kid is pretty great as far as 17 yr old boys go. I haven't met the number of 17 yr old boys necessary to base any of my opinions on statistical certainties, but I've met enough of the 'new breed' and I've lived through my own chaotic teen years, both which make me feel a reasonable amount of confidence when I make the following statement:

Boy teenagers are weird.

My kid is the one who knows what to say and what to do to drive me apeshit. Some of what he says and does is specifically targeted to get the maximum motherly reaction, I realize this. Like when he calls anyone who doesn't happen to be a stauch Republican a 'dirty hippie'? Yeah, he knows what he's doing. Yoink.

There are other things he says and does that I don't believe are meant to be targeted missiles aimed with military accuracy at my heart, they're simply his personal preferences: his clothing choices fall under this general heading.

My child has never been a flashy HEY LOOKIT ME!!! personality. He's sneaky (in the best ways) and oh-so-subtle (become his friend and I'll bet $4 that you'll adore this especially when you see it play out in his sense of humor). The outward manifestation of his under the radar style is that his wardrobe, particularly during his preteen and these current late teen years, is remarkably bland. Or maybe I should refer to it as unremarkably bland, since the whole purpose of bland is, by definition, to not be remarkable.

I have learned over lo these many years not to shop for my son unless his body is physically present in the store with me. His long tall lanky body makes clothes shopping slightly more complicated than if he had a shorter or wider or more typical body size and shape. But after repeated misses on my part ('oh, this is cute! I'm sure it'd fit him!') I've learned that, unless his body is RIGHT THERE, I'm almost never a good guesser and the return policies at many stores cannot make up for the disappointment and hassle of having goofed. So as a general rule I no longer shop for my kid by myself.

Until Monday.

I happened to be inside the megawalls of Burlington Coat Factory in search of a Pizzazz! to replace the one we've had and loved so much and for so long that a month or so ago, while baking what we didn't know would be its final sausage and mushroom pie, it popped its revolving peg and breathed its metaphorical last breath.

No Pizzazz!, but Burlington impressed me on two other fronts: their newly-revised return policy (woohoo! thank you for finally pulling your head out of your butt, Burlington! It only took you, what, ten years?) and their clothing selections for Big/Tall Men.

That nagging pest of an inner voice chirped 'don't do it, don't even look and for heavenssake don't buy, the lad is not with you and you KNOW how this turns out because it always always turns out the same way every time you've ever done it before' in my left frontal lobe as I browsed through the racks. I told the voice to shaddap, this is a great deal and hoo-miii-gawwwwd, lookit these prices, can't even the most embittered inner voice appreciate a good deal? My little voice said it would look forward to laughing its disembodied head off at me later and wished me luck. I didn't like the tone my little voice was taking with me so I compromised with sensibility by agreeing with me that I'd only look through the shirt racks - no pants. There, I sneered at my little voice, see? I'm agreeable. I'm flexible. And to be clear, little voice, I'm also not leaving this store until I have a few pieces of clothing to return to the cave with, to replace the holey thinning-fabric'ed shirts he's been getting by wearing for way too long.

And just to stick my tongue out at my little know-it-all companion, I called my child (speaking loudly enough on my cell phone for my little voice to overhear my end of the coversation) to tell him where I was and what I was doing there, and I asked a few questions to narrow down the selection process. Yes, he needed shirts with collars for work. No, he didn't care if they are long- or short-sleeved. Sure, he could use some t-shirts. Um, okay, sure that's wonderful that Burlington Coat Factory's return policy has changed. Yup, great news, mom.

I picked out a handful of nicely-priced tees and casual dress shirts and, with the exception of three items, I felt certain my child would be pleased with my selections.


Here are my successful picks, shirts whose colors fall safely within my son's comfy color palette:



The three shirts I wasn't so sure about? Here are the three that, according to the lad, should never have come home to live with us:



That was my ridiculous attempt at introducing a few more colors into his life. In retrospect and with consideration given to the fact that he only started wearing non-gray/non-black clothes this very year, I probably could have aimed for something slightly less GRAB THE MARACAS, I FEEL A CHA-CHA COMING ON. But, I figured, it was worth a try, especially now that Burlington Coat Factory will give me my money back for whatever items I return to them.

I'm probably working hard to justify the soon-to-be-returned purchases, but I'm not giving up hope that one day my child will adopt flexibility similar to that which I demonstrated when I told my little voice to piss off because I know my weird kid best.

the forest held her safely

it only takes a meme to get a fire going

All hail to Sarah (who I had never before met but *wavewave*nicetameecha) in Seattle for braving the comments section at Snow's blog. It was because she did that I did a little happy chairdance for her to go along with a tune I entitled 'Gooooood on yaaaaaa Sar-ar-ar-ar-ahhhh', and then (of course) I had to click on her comment to find out more about her. That's part of the lateral magic of the internet for me. Long story short: this meme was happily snatched and passed with love from Sarah's blog.


1. First name? Legal or nick? mm, I'll go with Beth.

2. Were you named after anyone? The Biblical one as in mother of John the Baptist Elizabeth. But hold the 'z' and give me a dollop of 's' instead.

3. When did you last cry? Two days ago, while babysitting my sweet niece. She said something funny that unexpectedly touched me (and, upon seeing me wiping tears she asked if it was her fault that I was leaking water out my eyeballs).

4. Do you like your handwriting? I do. When I was learning to write as a child I hoped huge hopes that I would write just like my mother, who has beautiful penmanship. I write more in block capital letters than I do in cursive now, but I like them both.

5. What is your favorite lunch meat? spamspamspamspam (yes, I am serious, if it's heated up) and braunsweiger.

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? It depends a great deal on what 'other person' I would be, don't you think? But for the sake of an answer: if I was a generally decent kind and loving person with a slightly off sense of humor I'd LOVE to be my friend.

7. Do you have a journal? DUH.

8. Do you still have your tonsils? All twelve of them, which I have a strict policy against loaning out.

10. What is your favorite cereal? Life. Ooh, and Golden Grahams, even if they scrape up the roof of my mouth. mmmmmmm.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Slip-ons? No. Be sensible! Shoes with laces? There's where it becomes more complicated: if I'm in a hurry to use the bathroom or after a very long day I'll shoehorn them off using the toe of one foot against the heel of the other shoe w/out touching the laces. But (!) if I'm trying to make an ooh-la-la good impression I will undo the laces manually because, as we all know, lacingness is next to godliness.

12. Do you think you are strong? Very. I'm fairly vulnerable as well, but that's probably a lesser-known fact to anyone who either does not reside inside my head or who is not allowed by me into the Inner Sanctum.

13. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? It's wrong to hurt the feelings of potentially hundreds of flavors by claiming my ardor for Just One. Wrong! I'm not a big ice cream freak, but when I was pregnant 18 years ago I had THEE. WORST. CRAVINGS. for Ben&Jerry's Chunky Monkey. Hey, when that growing fetus needs a dairy fix who am I to stand in the way?

14. Shoe Size? A brand-dependent 8.5

15. Red or pink? Yes.

16. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? When I make decisions based on my (real or imagined) fears.

17. Who do you miss the most? The list is long, there are no 'mosts'. All of them, yes. Very much.

18. Do you want everyone to send this back to you? Everyone in the entire universe, yes. Or maybe not. Okay, maybe a note to say 'hey that was fun and I'll play along too' -- that'd work fine.

19. What color pants, shirt, and shoes are you wearing?
Shoes = none. Pant = blue (jeans).
Shirt subsection (a). long-sleeved cotton scoopneck = fuscia.
Shirt subsection (b). zipped-up hoodie = orange.

20. Last thing you ate?
Real food: leftover baked ziti
Non-food item: a piece of tobacco when I smoked a cigarette earlier tonight.

21. What are you listening to right now? The water filter of the aquarium. Little bit like the sound of a tabletop fountain. I sure do appreciate the determination of that lone surviving fish in there but wow I'm not going to miss the every-other-week cleaning when it's gone.

22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Puce.

23. Favorite smell? autumn in Wisconsin, currently. There's another one I will not spell out because my non-legal spousalish unit will faint and possibly suffer a brain injury during the falling process if I were to mention it (it implicates her person). I don't wish a brain injury for her, so let's just go with the 'autumn in Wisconsin' answer.

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Without implicating anyone, see the response to question #23.

25. What is the first thing you notice about people to whom you are attracted? It depends on what part of them is visable when we first meet. I tend to be attracted to men's forearms (don't laugh, one of my sisters likes eyebrows). I noticed scents. I notice gestures. Body language spoken here too.

26. Do you like the person you stole this from?I have no reason not to like no-longer-a-stranger Sarah. Sure!

27. Favorite drink? whiskey/water.

28. Favorite sport?Fun-poking. I paid a LOT for my equipment too, so I try to use it as often as possible.

29. Eye color? Whose - mine? Green.

30. Hat size? Here's a question about myself that I honestly don't know! Huge. Is there a hat size called 'from which side of the family did you inherit that enormous melon?', because that's what size I wear.

31. Do you wear contacts? No, just glasses for computer work/reading.

32. Favorite food? Name the starch, I'm there.

33. Scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies that end happily.

35. Summer or winter? Neither. Autumn.

36. Hugs or kisses? I'll take three helpings of both please. As the seasons change my lips become more and more chapped so I tend toward the hugs for sake of keeping my lips from falling off my head. But I can be persuaded to let one or two really good tingly ones sneak past with no nevermind.

37. Favorite dessert? Current cheap and easy dessert craving is Rice Krispie Treats - the version with butterscotch and chocolate mixed in. (insert Homeresque beer drool here)

38. Who is most likely to respond? Oh sweetheart, I won't even begin to guess.

39. Least likely to respond? Do I need to speak into your good ear?

40. What books are you reading? The new 'O' magazine that arrived this week (let's call that 'reading lite'). And The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter (Carson McCullers). And Eat, Pray, Love (Elizabeth Gilbert). And for fun, The Order of Things: How Everything in the World Is Organized into Hierarchies, Structures, and Pecking Orders (Barbara Ann Kipfer).

41. What's on your mouse pad? The image? It's a photosleeve containing a photo I took of my son at the midget car races on his birthday two years ago.

42. What did you watch last night on TV? The Thursday night Gray's Anatomy/ER doubleheader. Pardon me, but I was most certainly not sleeping! I was resting my eyes.

43. Favorite sound? Wistful answer: our voices together, on the rare occasions when my sibs and I have sung together. Day-to-day answer: my son's guffawing laughter.

44. Rolling Stone or Beatles? Rolling Beatles.

45. The furthest you've been from home? physically that'd be Melbourne, Australia.
I've gone far far away inside my own head during some pretty dark times, but I suppose that's more of a metaphysical kinda travel.

46. What's your special talent? My Stupid People Tricks are not limited to but include: tying a cherry stem using only my tongue, doing the 'Live Long and Prosper' thingie using my toes, whistling through my rolled-up tongue and (this one is my personal fave) flipping my eyelids inside-out. When I'm not making an absolute fool of myself doing those nifties, I have a rather highly-tuned bullshit detector and can (usually) call someone on their crap without making them feel horrible. After having experienced both sides I now know it takes talent to do that.

47. Where were you born? In Mississippi.

48. Who sent this to you? Nobody, baby, I reached out and grabbed that ring all by myself.

necking

Yes, the sauce factor is running slightly on the aah-chaa-chaa side but for perfectly legitimate reasons.

[Is there ever a time when non-legitimate reasons for sauciness would be an issue? I think not, but that's not the point I'm trying to make here.]

I'm gathering the components for the very important upcoming Halloween costume, all of which have arrived (on time!) (with minimum fuss!) (and with the exception of one item, all for $.99 shipping).

I hadn't actually planned to buy an auburn bouffant wig for the costume itself, but now that I've tried on the half-mask that I DO purposefully have for costuming purposes I may need the extra wiggy height to help balance out a mask whose eyeholes don't match up with my sockets when the mask is on my head. I'm glad I bought it.

More on the costume in the coming days ...

Are there any Halloween fans reading this? Do you remember what your favorite childhood costume was and why it thrilled you so much? Do you have a particular favorite now that you're a little more grown up (and I'm leaving that term grown up entirely open to personal interpretation. On purpose).

jibberjabbergabbingtalkingmockingwalking&chewinggum

Gabcast! Convergence of Intermittent Satellite Feeds #2 - aww, a baby audio post

my first successful audio post addition to the ol' Noncompliance blog.

And two lessons unexpectedly learned.

the subtle aroma of familiarity

from PostSecret

pretty maids all in a row

shot during an LGBT Business Alliance event -- tonight's meet-up was held at the School of Madison Ballet where artistic director W.Earle Smith kindly permitted us to view his advanced class session.



Thhyeah, I can do that, I just don't WANT to. Yanno, because it's not nice to show off and stuff. (I think at least half of you all might actually believe me. Not bad, not bad.)

looking at each other (by popular search demand, the entire poem)

Yes, we were looking at each other
Yes, we knew each other very well
Yes, we had made love with each other many times
Yes, we had heard music together
Yes, we had gone to the sea together
Yes, we had cooked and eaten together
Yes, we had laughed often day and night
Yes, we fought violence and knew violence
Yes, we hated the inner and outer oppression
Yes, that day we were looking at each other
Yes, we saw the sunlight pouring down
Yes, the corner of the table was between us
Yes, bread and flowers were on the table
Yes, our eyes saw each other's eyes
Yes, our mouths saw each other's mouth
Yes, our breasts saw each other's breasts
Yes, our bodies entire saw each other
Yes, it was beginning in each
Yes, it threw waves across our lives
Yes, the pulses were becoming very strong
Yes, the beating became very delicate
Yes the calling the arousal
Yes, the arriving the coming
Yes, there it was for both entire
Yes, we were looking at each other

(muriel ruckeyser,1978)

gourds

Just one of the many reasons I do so love this season called autumn.

Please- Introduce yourself!

I'm always curious how the depth and breadth of the internet causes us to bump into one another.

How did you find my little goofy site here?

C'mon, you can tell me... I won't tell anyone. I promise.

autumn quilt