human being

dried up, originally uploaded by McBeth.

Focus your attention not on what you are doing but rather, who you are being.

barely blushing

her lips were so soft, originally uploaded by McBeth.

The spiritualization of sensuality is called love: it is a great triumph over Christianity.

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

okay

a body at rest, originally uploaded by McBeth.

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.

-- Virginia Satir

mother's day

there'll be no 'smile pretty and say cheese' here, originally uploaded by McBeth.

Oh, what a complicated blend of frustration, envy, anger, hopelessness, commitment and deep deep love I have with my mother.

I admire her for so so so many of her fine qualities. She is gentle, especially with the children she works with in the public schools, kids who don't have anything near that kind of compassion and patience with their own parents.

I was angry for a long time, probably too long, when my son was young, when my mom would let other people's kids call her 'gramma' because they either didn't know their own grandparents, or the kids' grandparents lived across the country, making relationship difficult. That's how she is though, giving out so much to others, sometimes more than I personally think she ought.

I'm sure I did things that embarrassed my mother along the years. I sometimes used my smart mouth to my own disadvantage, I have a vigorous stubborn streak (still).

I'd like to say to you today mom, I think we've done alright despite our imperfections. I continue to love you beyond measure. And I hope I am shaping up to be the person you hoped I'd grow up to be.

xo