20 October 2004

Sand and Water


McBeth.

All alone, I didn't like the feeling
All alone, I sat and cried
All alone, I had to find some meaning
In the center of the pain I felt inside

All alone, I came into the world
All alone, I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water, and a million years gone by

I will see you in the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you in the sound of the waves
I will know you when I come, as we all will come,
Through the doors, beyond the grave

All alone, I heal this heart of sorrow
All alone, I raise this child
Flesh and bone, he's just
Bursting towards tomorrow
And his laughter fills my world, and wears your smile

All alone, I came into the world
All alone, I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water, and a million years gone by
-Beth Nielsen Chapman
(to hear realstream, follow this link: http://bethnielsenchapman.com/?inc=albums&alb_id=348#2807)

19 October 2004


dats the fact

when you wish upon a star...


McBeth.

...makes no difference who you are
anything your heart desires will come to you

Sometimes wishing is enough. A wish can be a powerful tool to guide and point a person toward some ultimate place of being.

There is a bumper sticker I came to hate - and then, to slowly deeply appreciate - after the end of my most recent romantic relationship.

The sticker read: "Hope is a good companion but a poor guide."

There is a personal accountability missing in wishes and dreams. Wishes don't generally include thoughts like 'I wish I would work my ass off to create a successful business (or relationship or outcome)'. Wishes usually come in the I Dream of Jeanie form where some empowered Other Being blinks, wiggles a nose and makes it so.

I'm a usefully lazy person. I do lots of creative things with my nonmoving time. I have pages full of wishes and hopes and dreams. I am more and more aware of the unlikeliness of any of those coming to fruition unless I do my own blinking, wiggling my own nose, making my own wishes so.

I'm an excellent blamer. As many pages of dream lists, I have pages full of excuses, reasons why some particular thing just didn't couldn't hasn't worked. Boo hoo for me. My life is so hard so sad so complicated too tiring. I'm the High Priestess of Rationalization. (Try me sometime. I dare you.)

I get what I expect in the end, and if I continue to make excuses, if I continue to pardon my own choices I'll be right where I'm sitting in another 20 years. I don't plan to let that happen. But scared? You bet. Afraid of risking? Hell yeah.

What do you wish for?

Blog Archive

statistics are fascinating