Her brain broke breathtakingly on a queer quiz rampage

What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke. You are the lesbian who can connect your vagina to nearly every object in the entire universe, creative and a little creepy you always astonish your friends.

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The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke 65% The Femme Fatale 55% The Student Dyke 55% The Surprise! Dyke 50% The Sprightly Elfin Femme 50% The Quasi-Gothic Femme 40% The Stud 35% The Bohemian Dyke 25% The Pretty-Boi Dyke 25% The Granola Dyke 15% The Little-Boy Dyke 5% The Hipster Dyke 5% The Magic Earring Ken Dyke 5%

*I rarely take issue with quizzes, especially these that are SO clearly for fun and um, entertainment. But come ON people, if you're going to quiz me on my lesbianism, at least give me a few questions that I can actually answer 'yes' to and not feel as though I've only managed to nubble together some sorta score as a feel-good consolation prize.

'The door to your dorm is plastered in gay pride paraphernalia.' HUNH? No. I answered that twice as absolutely not, and the second time I was clicking the 'NO YOU FUCKING MORON I SAID NO!' button, it was for the tie-breaker which then determined that - according to the responses I gave - I would be 60% likely to be a student dyke. Sigh.

'You own at least one black leather jacket.' Sure, why didn't I realize this sooner? After all, ones outerwear tells all sorts of squeamishly revealing information about a person, doesn't it?! Sigh.

'You secretly worship James Dean.' Go fuck yourselves. I keep my secrets SECRET and none of them, I assure you, NONE OF THEM involve James.

So I guess after all the other best and most real dyke characters are filtered down through, what we're left with at the bottom of the rusty strainer is me, the peculiar pfefferneus of properly pansified periveinous pussy.

SIGH.

No, really. I cannot in good conscience show you mine. At least not here.

You scored as Nipples. You're secretly kinky aren't you? I like you already. Don't let anyone onto your dirty side--it's more fun that way. Nipples 100% Dirty Piercings 90% Tongue Piercing 90% Cartilage Piercing 80% Lip Piercing 60% Earlobe Piercing 50% Labret Piercing 40% Belly Button Piercing 40% Nose Piercing 30% What Piercing Are You? created withQuizFarm.com

photos? what photos?

What's your ideal drug?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Ecstacy. Love, sex, parties, and DANCING! Just be wary of your mood coming down! www.dancesafe.org

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Ecstacy 81% Marijuana 75% Mushrooms 75% None! 56% Inhalents 56% Cocaine 44% Alcohol 44%

less photos, more quizzes

What Mythological Creature are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Faerie. Faerie: Aren't you a cute little flying person? Faeries are earth spirits. They live among each element completely hidden. They have cousins called Pixies. Pixies however, are very mischevious. They enjoy tormenting other creatures for fun. Little pranksters.. I hope you never meet one. Pixies have a bad reputation for finding a creature and clinging to them until death. Faeries can be somewhat close to a Pixie, but mostly they are loving, playful, and carry with them a child-like enthusiasm for life. Hide among the pedals of a Daisy, you are a Faerie.

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WereWolf 75% Faerie 75% Mermaid 67% Angel 58% Demon 50% Dragon 33%

Let's take a photographic break for some stargazing

Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? v1.0
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Galactica (from Battlestar: Galactica). You are leery of your surroundings, and with good reason. Anyone could be a cylon. But you have close friends and you know they would never hurt you. Now if only the damn XO would stop drinking.

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Galactica (from Battlestar: Galactica) 94% Serenity (from Firefly) 88% Bebop (from Cowboy Bebop) 81% Moya (from Farscape) 75% Millennium Falcon (from Star Wars) 75% Nebuchadnezzar (from The Matrix) 75% SG-1 (from Stargate) 69% Enterprise D (from Star Trek) 50%

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(And now, the sooper-dee-dooper ULTIMATE stargazer's quiz, updated and all)

Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Deep Space Nine (Star Trek). You have entered the dark side of the Star Trek universe. The paradise of Earth is far from you and you must survive despite having enemies on all fronts. But you wouldn�t have it any other way because you thrive in conflict and will know what needs to be done to take care of those around you. Now if only the Founders would quit trying to take over the galaxy.

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Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 88% Serenity (Firefly) 88% Moya (Farscape) 81% FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files) 75% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 75% Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 75% Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 63% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 63% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 56% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 56% SG-1 (Stargate) 50% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 31%

Welcome back, Reub. We missed you so.

During a local newscast this evening, the tv crew was interviewing local Badger fans who have been celebrating along with the UW-Madison Badger football team in Orlando, Florida at whatever Bowl game they played today. (bad fan, baaad baaaad fan. I have slapped my hand just now for those gentle readers who might be locals and reading my complete disinterest in the Badger team for the first time. I try, I really do.
I just can't get excited about many sporting events.)

The thing that grabbed my attention was the super-excited woman in her ohh, fifties or sixties maybe. She appeared to be a really happy gal, smiling broadly and donning her reddest of Bucky badger-red gear, who described the scene as "boo-ee-yant".

In what universe does the word boo-yant exist?
I hadn't been watching the broadcast; I'd been listening though, and the fact that I could not identify the word she was using got my attention. So I turned around and started to play the 'name that...' game. Given the situation and the excitement and what I knew of the Badger's winnings, I suspected that the well-intentioned woman must have meant "boy-ant".

Buoyant.

No wonder we have a confused language and an even more confused population...
if you see a little floating bobbing bit of a thing out there in a body of water to mark a channel, well of course I'd understand someone referring to THAT thing as a boo-eee.

But to mark an excited scene as boo-ee-ant? I dunn'thin'so.

Next lesson: Kwik-E-Marts and why our children are slow.