14 September 2006

All Because of Muriel Rukeyser

All because of a turn of phrase I heard on the radio
I did a web search for the station’s call letters
Leading to the radio station’s website
Leading to a play list
Of today’s spoken word line-up,
Including the performance of Looking at Each Other
by the author
Which contained the articulation I had been searching for
The words that had hit me squarely
tickling the soft tingling places inside me
As they rolled off the tongue of an older female speaker
with a strong knowing voice
‘It is lovely to finally meet you Muriel’, I coo.

All because of Muriel Rukeyser
I searched
poetry collections, author’s guides, college library websites
Needing to have her full text now
Not later, no.
Not in the future, but

I searched my city’s library website, desperate and determined
using all the search terms I could think of:
woman, Muriel, lesbian, “yes our breasts looked at one another”, “spoken word poet performance”, “I’m desperate and shaking, can you just do this for me once without my help?”.
I used the words that led me to a list of four published books
and their call numbers
in my city’s public library system, including which location,
the X marking the spot, the treasure chest holding this poem.

Please, Muriel.
I need you.
I beg of you.
Let me know you.
Be my knowing,
my known.

All because of a spoken word
performance on the radio
I placed shoes on my bare feet
I drove eagerly toward she who knew me
Toward she whom I knew
Toward that which was home.

Because of a turn of phrase
by Muriel Rukeyser
I discovered the $97.73 in library fines
on books reported as lost,
charged against my library card
no wonder my sister had stayed away
kept her bibliophilic distance from that place
for so long.
Now I understand her excitement to be back
though she must have forgotten these, my charges
or she would not have shared her delight

Because of my wildly ambitious and
covetously animalistic needing,
I put 20 cents into the library’s photocopying machine
with shaking hands
please, Be My Valentine.
I did not check to see that the poem printed correctly from both pages.
I was afraid of being caught out
afraid of being seen
illicitly enraptured with a dead woman’s ghostly whisperings:

Yes, we were looking at each other
Yes, we knew each other very well
Yes, we had made love with each other many times

Yes, bread and flowers were on the table
Yes, it was beginning in each
Yes, the beating became very delicate

Yes yes yes

Because of finding what I hadn’t even known was missing
I did not photocopy the last lines of Muriel’s poem
Two, possibly four lines
on page 474
Announcing the Fait de Complété
and yet I do not need them
To know.

13 September 2006


In June an old friend of my younger brother was in town filming a movie and he asked if I'd be willing to shoot stills to document their process. Sure! Great experience for me and the opportunity to be a small part of something interesting. Today I'm tooting on my little bent up rusty horn because I am done. It took me far too long and there were all sorts of weirdnesses along the way, but I am SO DONE!

Watch for 'The Captain and Me' this fall, especially if you have Independent Film Festivals near you. Very very funny short b&w silent picture. I'm nearly positive you'll enjoy it.

12 September 2006

by the by...

If you happen to stop by while you're sipping coffee or while you're trying to burn through a few minutes between one activity and another (don't worry, I'm not hurt; I do the same thing myself) you might have some newly developed concerns that you may be losing your mind because you swear the look of this page seems to have changed a little since the last time you were here.

I can't professionally speak to the losing your mind part. Off the top of my head what I can say is this: all those 12-step programs say that the first step in tackling an issue is admitting you have the problem in the first place so, pal, you've either got no problem or you've already jockeyed along to step #2 without ever having even realized it. Way to go! You're well on your way to complete recovery!

The site changes, however, are real. I've switched my blogger account over to the new beta version of blogger despite -no, in the face of, yes! In the face of the fact that everything in me tells me that switching early on in such projects tends to bring a generous dose of frustration. I had been looking around for new/different templates the past few weeks anyway and the timing just happened to work in such a way that I'm willing to give Google a chance to prove they have whatever it takes to continue to make my blogging experience a contented one.

Total aside here, but doesn't it seem just the slightest bit incestuous, this relationship between Google and Blogger? Internet relationships are much like the stereotypical view of Southern U.S. backhills familial relationships, I guess. But just because "everybody knows they all breed together" doesn't mean that when you find out that your friend is one of "them" it isn't just the slightest littlest tiniest bit creepy. Even though it's just a stereotype.

It's official: the reprise

In somewhat more subdued tones to two years ago's bazillionairessfest, this year's celebrating is expected to be somewhat less tawdry an affair with only ten cases of Kristal instead of the usual 50 ...

I'm the 695,500,118 richest person on earth!

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a hard rain's gonna fall

Three little wet girls
try very hard to pay attention
to the pretty lieutenant govenor lady
up front
as she talks in grownupspeak about big
scary ugly things
for which three little girls
should not - as three little girls -
have to concern themselves.

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