Sunday, Bloody Sunday

McBeth.

With my faulty gynocological system it is never clear what is going to happen or when it is going to happen. My family herstory has left all my female siblings (and perhaps some of the long-dead women too) with a colorful variety of 'IT'S NOT WORKING' symptoms, growths and scares.

After three weeks of waiting and wondering, the gears started up. Like a lumbering behemoth just woke from a dead sleep the system attempts to reestablish itself, taking me along for the ride.

Yesterday I bled through handfuls of tampons, sanitary pads, two sets of underwear and two pairs of pants. Before bedtime I resignedly cleaned up the last surprise attack. Left my shirt on and stepped into the shower ~ essentially to hose down my lower half with the hope that I could be clean and dry for a few sleeping hours. Ha! I woke to another bloody mess ... sheets, pjs, underwear ... right though everything, again.

This amazing capability, this natural world gift I've been given to grow and bear children is, hmm, how to say it... it's overkill. Really. It has served me well and it's been greatly appreciated but right now I wouldn't mind having also been given a switch to flip at the time I was done bearing my live young to turn the bloodworks off at will.

It was because I was curious about exactly what shedule my body thinks it should be on that I went through old calendars and archives, searching for the few, the proud, the actual cycles.

Lesse... In 2000 there was January (noted as 'overdue'), November (the last week), December (started the first week, just having finished the Nov. cycle).

I haven't found complete 2001 information so those details remain sketchy, but onward and upward to 2002: June (I bled for a full month), July (my notes indicated PMS symptoms but no flow). That's about it for that year.

Then 2003 rolled around: February, May, June (at the time I made a note I'd been bleeding for three weeks), September (noted as a superflow making it impossible to leave the house). Aah, what a year.

And then we rang in New Year's Day 2004: January (emotionally whacked, no bleeding at the time I made notes), July, and here we are in October (yep, definitely another gusher).

Next step is to take this information I've gathered, go back to the doc (again), explain that I want thus-and-so tests run, see what happens.

My body is not unlike my vehicle - if I'm hearing a rattle or hum when I'm driving my car I have the full attention of my mechanic when I drive Scarletta up onto the lift and say 'it's not working'. I think I should be able to get the same service on my body from the body fix-it folks.

Can't bring myself to make that appointment just yet. Maybe after waking up and checking to see if I have a renewed source of income transferred to my bank account. Maybe then.