keep going

hen and chicks by McBeth.

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”

- Christopher Reeve

sunny side up

putting on our happy faces by McBeth.

There's a dark & a troubled side of life
There's a bright, there's a sunny side, too
Tho' we meet with the darkness and strife
The sunny side we also may view

Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side,
Keep on the sunny side of life
It will help us ev'ry day, it will brighten all the way
If we'll keep on the sunny side of life

The storm and its fury broke today,
Crushing hopes that we cherish so dear;
Clouds and storms will, in time, pass away
The sun again will shine bright and clear.
Let us greet with the song of hope each day
Tho' the moment be cloudy or fair
Let us trust in our Saviour away
Who keepeth everyone in His care

(edit: credit correction- written by Mother Maybelle Carter, performed on the 'Oh Brother, Where Art Thou' soundtrack by The Whites)

roots

uprooted by McBeth.

"I see America spreading disaster. I see America as a black curse upon the world. I see a long night settling in and that mushroom which has poisoned the world withering at the roots."

- Henry Miller

brain splat

tie-dyed jeans by McBeth.

Her brain matter comes hurtling out
violently, sometimes
in words she may not mean,
words she saves for hurting times.

She doesn't always know how to be
clear neat concise
she isn't usually able to pick
favorite
from a top-down list

but just watch her
eliminate negatives
to see her
resulting
accentuated positives

If you want to know
be prepared to stop, drop and roll
she isn't easily given
to exposing tender
soft places

Truth?
She can tell what she knows of it
if you are skilled
patient enough
waiting, until she is ready
to be naked.

fly fly away

two kites by McBeth.

I began to feel that I lived on a higher plane than the skeptics of the ground; one that was richer because of its very association with the element of danger they dreaded, because it was freer of the earth to which they were bound. In flying, I tasted a wine of the gods of which they could know nothing. Who valued life more highly, the aviators who spent it on the art they loved, or these misers who doled it out like pennies through their antlike days? I decided that if I could fly for ten years before I was killed in a crash, it would be a worthwhile trade for an ordinary life time.

— Charles A. Lindbergh, 'The Spirit of St. Louis'

you'll never walk alone

wild turkey in the woods by McBeth.

I thought I was alone this weekend as I walked through the UW Arboretum.

I was wrong.

Two wild turkey meandered along with me, or I with them, and eventually our paths led different ways. Theirs, into the deeper non-pathed woods; mine, back to the vehicle (since -having wandered far deeper INTO the woods than I had ever intended in delight with my walking companions- I was already late in picking up KD from the Monona Terrace gig she was at and had to retrace my steps and pick up the path from there to the parking area).

Just like dear old gram

our grandparents were immigrants by McBeth.

There was a fantastic rally in support of changes in the nations immigration laws here in my little town today.

I didn't get close enough to those top capital steps to hear the speakers until Kathleen Falk and Mayor Dave spoke, but I was terribly proud of both the legal and not-yet-legal citizens of my city for standing up and for speaking out.

goodbye to you

two empty caps by McBeth.

So long, winter.
I carried two caps with me yet I never wore either of them.

I will not miss you.

my deepest parts, revealed

I know, I know ... it's a little forward of me, stripping my eyeballs naked like this for you and gosh, we've only know one another for how long? But there's something about you that makes me want to remove everything between us; something that compels me to show you my inner workings.

Welcome to my right retina.

That pinpoint of light there in the middle? That's my optical nerve. You didn't know the half of it when you thought to yourself 'well, she sure does have a lot of nerve doesn't she?', now did you. That there is one slap-dip-dappy hippity-hop-happy optical nerve, yessireebob.

The little red lines? Those are blood vessels. The green glow? My eyes always glow neon green when I'm mad ~ y'know, like The Hulk.

Fine. Quit looking at me like you don't believe me. That green glow, I believe is the reflection from the Optoscan machine.


And please let me introduce you to my favorite left retina. You might say 'Oh come now, you only HAVE one left retina' and my friend, you would be correct. That is part of the reason, in fact, why it is my favorite. Hello there, little left optical nerve!

See the fissure-looking things on the image? They're mostly vertical, only a few, and mostly to the right side of the photo ... those are my own very special congenital anomalies of the eye called myelination*.

Oooh, it just makes me feel all special and tingly inside!

If your optometrist offers the Optomap Ultra-widefield Retinal Imaging, try it out. I understand that many U.S. insurance companies do not pay for the cost of the scans (US $32 for both eyes) but I can see *get it? see? Bwahaha* a great deal of sense in just ponying up for the scan. If the scan does reveal an optical issue then insurance should probably pay for the scan thereafter ("hey, s/he has a real and verifiable condition, now we gotta pay to monitor this thing") and if it doesn't reveal any weirdness then all the better for you! If you have a family history of some disease that can affect the eyes (hello, diabetes anyone?) this seems like a swell way to keep a closer and more complete check on what's going on way deep in there, even if YOU don't have the disease/diagnosis. Preliminary self-help and health care seems far more sensible an idea than band-aiding a bullet wound if you know what I mean.

And judging from the new and improved prescription in the new fairly ugly glasses I picked up yesterday, it makes sense to me that my left eye with her sweet little congenital anomaly would require this new uber-strong lens if there are those nerve fibers hanging out in bulbous bulging formations inside the back of my eye where they're not exactly supposed to be. The left lens is much stronger now, to correct my crappy vision in that eye.

C'est ca. No really, it's all cool. I'm glad to have my glasses! I'm so relieved to be seeing the up-close materials better again. I can see my favorite fiction up close and personal: just the way I like it. No more peering and squinting in the spirit of group encouragment to get the letters to form themselves, noma'am. Me n' my congenital anomalies will be just fine.


*Myelination of the optic nerve develops embryologically from a posterior to anterior direction. The fibres are grossly Myelinated in the intracranial and intracanal portions of the optic nerve by the seventh month but myelin does not usually reach the lamina cribosa until full term. I{n} some instances the myelin does not stop short at the lamina cribosa but continues into the eye, appearing on ophthalmoscopic examination as bright white flame-shaped streaks, usually contiguous with the margin of the optic disc. These streaks follow the normal course of the retinal nerve fibres and are situated superficially on the disc and retina and hence may cover some of the retinal blood vessels. They give rise to field defects corresponding to their area of projection into the visual field.

fast car

dreamy by McBeth.

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere

Any place is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

-Tracy Chapman

blasted bunnies

wakie up-ie! by McBeth.

The child in me finds the little furry critters adorable in all the fuzziest warmest loveable ways but there is a gun totin' gal inside me ready to sit in my front window all night long, if necessary, to catch the rabbits who have newly discovered the crocus and tulips in my garden bed and who have nibbled them to the earth once already.

I breathed deeply, I counted to ten, I walked inside and played very loud music (okay fine, hippie music doesn't really get all that frenetic regardless of volume, but I did it anyway, just to let those varmints know I meant business).

I have not put fencing up around the garden because - well, because I really don't LIKE fencing. I think it looks possessive and territorial. But if the heads disappear from these crocus again, I may consider creative problem solving solutions such that the bunnies can live peaceably within the same kingdom as me and the bulbs I'm trying to grow.

Happy spring.
(quick, enjoy it before the rabbits eat it all!)

and when you've exhaled forever

out of the blue by McBeth.

waiting for air to return
waiting for the alveoli to quiver
waiting to be done waiting

you find another note,
a card tucked between the walls of the abbey
which directs you to continue walking the paces
until you can thoroughly explain
to any stranger who might come by

why there may be a good reason to inhale
once more.

SD abortion law: an affront to all independent women

"When Governor Mike Rounds signed HB 1215 into law it effectively banned all abortions in the state with the exception that it did allow saving the mother’s life. There were, however, no exceptions for victims of rape or incest. His actions, and the comments of State Senators like Bill Napoli of Rapid City, SD, set of a maelstrom of protests within the state.

Napoli suggested that if it was a case of “simple rape,” there should be no thoughts of ending a pregnancy. Letters by the hundreds appeared in local newspapers, mostly written by women, challenging Napoli’s description of rape as “simple.” He has yet to explain satisfactorily what he meant by “simple rape.”

The President of the Oglala Sioux Tribe on the Pine Ridge Reservation, Cecilia Fire Thunder, was incensed. A former nurse and healthcare giver she was very angry that a state body made up mostly of white males, would make such a stupid law against women.
“To me, it is now a question of sovereignty,” she said to me last week. “I will personally establish a Planned Parenthood clinic on my own land which is within the boundaries of the Pine Ridge Reservation where the State of South Dakota has absolutely no jurisdiction.”

Strong words from a very strong lady. I hope Ms. Fire Thunder challenges Gov. Rounds and the state legislators on this law that is an affront to all independent women."

Oglala Sioux president on state abortion law

Tragedy

The tragedy was in my eyes
en route from left to right
the usual routine
tracking, placing surroundings
stopping

The tragedy was in her posture
proud, hopeful
bloomed tall, despite youth’s best attempts
to keep her forever innocent

The tragedy was in three middle-aged men
On a business casual Friday, Tag Heurers gleamed
in the metallic saffron sunset reflection,
offhandedly discussing the weekend’s plans
paused mid-discussion

The tragedy was in a pitch
A horn splat of B-flat, C, F-sharp
Sustained into echoed crescendo
Curled like tendriled vines into my ears

The tragedy was in a new book
crisp unbroken spine
Arched unnaturally above a slender upraised arm
Shredded pages hovered momentarily,
hundreds of small earthquakes
poised to thunder their doom

The tragedy was in our gasps
God
ohgod
Fuck
HEY!

Mama

The tragedy was that
We each breathed our final goodbyes
without having seen a tragedy coming

empty

the rack by McBeth.

double-dipping

double-dipping by McBeth.

*no thin healthy women were harmed in the shooting of this image.

ashes to ponies

“So, like a forgotten fire, a childhood can always flare up again within us.”
- Gaston Barchelard

here piggy piggy piggy

It was while reading Snowball's latest update when I decided to give my bitter inner pig a poke.





I may have some personal experience in the matter of my arteeeestic creation. I can neither confirm nor deny such rumors. Suffice it to say that back in the day an air conditioned (freezered, but why pick nits?) job wasn't such a terrible thing, nor was great pay, nor was not getting fired (whew) for bringing a feather duster and an egg in onto the slice pak line after break, then popping the duster out the back of my whites and dropping the egg onto the belt with a mighty BAWK! to goad a possible coworker after he may or may not have called us summer employee girls "a bunch of chickens" for all the gabbing we did.

I happen to be of the belief that if I cannot face handling the various stages of food items I put into my body I should not put the items into my body. Idealistically I'd like to think that I could hunt and gather every item I eat, with the primary focus aimed particularly upon the 'hunt' part of the combination. That 'can you kill what you eat?' question seems to really weed out the sissies in the crowd, doesn't it? Sure, it's one thing to SAY it but man it's a whole 'nother thing to lop off a head. Or to gut a fish ... have you ever done that? Eew. Messy.

I have nothing but respect for my vegetarian and vegan friends and kin, but I am an omnivore (even moreso during those horrid pmstrual times. I dare you to take these sweet and delicately salty pork flavored chocolate dipped strawberries from my grubby hands. Go ahead. Try it.) I do eat meat. I consider myself absolutely lucky that there are others willing to do the unpleasant work of killing the beast on which I later will feast, and don't think for a moment that I don't have deep gratitude for the animal, and to the universe, for the sacrifice. And I may or may not have been one of those people who worked within the unpleasant work process to bring prettily packaged pounds of processed pig to your local retailer's shelves.

But there are precious few things that are fair and balanced in our funky little sphere, and if having a supervisor walk out of his office while I'm flapping my make-believe wings at a 55 year old skeeve means I manage to get by and to get through one more asunder-setter, then I can darn well draw my pig hoofin' it right on into the O.M. plant. (I'm sure I'll spoil all his fun, but if you're not interested in drawing a pig for your own self (shame on ya, it's just for fun!) the password into the gallery is 'oink'. There's a big surprise, eh?)

spot the cow

spot the cow by McBeth.

myoo.

Nancy Drew and The Ghostly Soundboard Haunting

Nancy Drew and The Ghostly Soundboard Haunting by McBeth.

ooooOOOOOOOooooooo